This is us. Last October:
Last October we were 7 months in to Deployment #3.
It was that scary point in time where the guys have been there long enough and you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. But you know the beginning…..and the end of any deployment is the most dangerous time. So you basically are near the end but you don’t feel any better about it and still feel like you are holding your breath kind of all the time anyways.
Last October we had moved barely 3 months ago.
And everyone was still seriously adjusting. Some better than others.
Last October we had a weekly Skype date with Daddy.
Trying to find that fine line between seeing him often enough that the kids felt connected but not so often that they cried every day was a challenge.
Last October I got my third phone call in 12 months from a school nurse which ended with me taking Edo to the Emergency Room.
Not cool, Edo. Not. Cool. At. All.
Last October we braced ourselves for Super Storm Sandy, and the possibility that our belongings which had so very recently escaped raging fires in Colorado Springs might now be flooded away.
We experienced both natural disasters and were incredibly, unbelievably fortunate both times with no major damage.
Last October, I was lonely and struggling and trying to juggle five kids with all that entails while desperately wishing and hoping beyond hope that I wouldn’t have to do it alone for the rest of my life.
Because I knew I could manage for 12 months (as I had before) or 9 months as I was doing then…. but the heavy rock in the pit of my stomach full of what if’s and my jumbled thoughts full of nightmares where I heard the knock at the door haunted even my waking hours. My Team 19 wives were right there with me, even though they were practically on the other side of the country. We were seeing each other through it as best we could.
Last October, Vi had only been in our family for 7 months.
Seven of the longest, hardest, there-aren’t-words-for-how-incredibly-difficult-it-was months of my life interspersed with moments of pure joy, utter redemption and unforgettable beauty. We were soldiering on, finding our new normal. But it was an uphill battle.
Every day life felt like a battle. Our little family, fighting it’s way through another deployment.
This October is different.
This October, Our family is Together.
This October we have graduate school schedules, and Back to School Nights, and family dinners.
This October we have Daddy teaching the girls how to ride their bikes and building fires in the fire pit.
This October Daddy and Mommy tag team bed time and everyone gets to sleep generally happy and always on time.
This October we will have a visit to the pumpkin farm and Halloween and Daddy won’t have to hear about it the next day on Skype.
This October I can call my husband just, you know, whenever I want. Cause we are on the same side of the planet.
This October sometimes Daddy takes Little Man to school, and sometimes he waits with the girls for the bus. Cause, you know, he is around.
He is HERE. With US.
This October, even when life gets chaotic and I feel stressed out about everything we have to juggle and manage I can always take a deep breath and remind myself of one simple fact:
It isn’t Last October.
And I am so very grateful for that.